Hi GiftsinMen:-
Firstly I also think there is nothing wrong with the " f" word. I do think however it can be over used like the word " love" and i think If we use over use these words they loose the impact.
Now to your question " What does my baptism mean to me" I am tempted to say it once meant " love" but it now means " f...k" but I don't want to over use those words on something that now means "nought" "zero" and " nothing" to me.
All I would add is sometimes, somethings takes time but you will heal....and it will get better.
The Rebel.